What do you want? I mean REALLY want...
And how do you know it's what YOU want when the opinions of others may be living rent-free in your mind?
If you looked back on your life and reviewed how many decisions you made based on pure desire vs what you thought would impress your friends, your family, or your social media following, how much free-will are you ACTUALLY using?
Every client I've worked with since 2004 has had some form of external influence causing grief and struggle in their life.
The fear of disappointing their parents...
The desire to be as good as or better than their peers...
Anything that would place their worth into the hands of another has come up.
These unconscious programs weigh heavy on their self-worth and in turn, their ability to take a risk on their greatness is severely diminished.
The result: they would rather live in the 'safety' of not taking the risk than take a chance on embarrassment and shame for failing....or in some cases, even taking the risk.
The thing about naysayers is, they will always try and stop you because your growth forces them to look at their procrastination.
"He told me I should stop because I was working too hard...my efforts were too much...and when I succeeded, he acted like nothing had happened. Including my win." A common issue I see with clients who surround themselves with people who aren't growing WITH them.
To be a Conscious Creator of reality, you'll need to weed out their mental chatter and make room for a better self image. One of clarity and conviction, responsible and capable of manifesting your experiences from authenticity...
No longer a victim to their perceptions of you.
Here's a good place to start:
Develop a Strong Sense of Awareness
In the book The 5 Levels of Attachment, Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. describes the identities we form based on the opinions of others.
Think back to who told you what you are...
Were you told you were too much? Told you were shy? Told you wouldn't amount to anything?
And did you believe them? Do your actions continue to validate their comments about who they THINK you are?
"Your free will doesn’t exist because it’s completely bound by your beliefs." -Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr.
Because their opinions live rent-free in your mind, they're running the show until you make a course correction.
Take the time to understand what you were told, how it impacts your feelings about the world, and what values you adopted that may no longer align with your future desires.
This will help you create a life that's authentic and fulfilling.
Take inventory of when you feel triggered, judgemental, or begin making logical excuses to play small.
Observe your thoughts.
Who's thoughts are these?
Do you remember hearing someone speak these things in your childhood?
Where did these ideas and perspectives on life come from?
Then, decide a better solution and work to recreate that in your life.
This can help you to reduce the level of influence others have over you by bringing awareness to the thoughts that you've adopted as law in your life.
Set Better Boundaries
There's a dogma that we've been mistaught from the bible...
"It's better to give than to receive."
Sadly, this statement is only half the story. The original statement, before it was watered down read: "It is better to be in a position to give than to be in a position to have to receive."
The former is what we were conditioned to believe, usually from birth.
And so, we became people-pleasers, more concerned about the opinions of others...giving to a fault to appease them...than about filling our own cup first.
While it's easy to worry about 'being selfish' when you're first starting out, consider this...
Putting yourself first is in fact the LEAST selfish thing you can do.
Because when you don't, you're only able to give others a fraction of yourself. You're drained and exhausted trying to help others but don't even know how to help yourself.
And if the world around you reflects the world inside of you, you're projecting more chaos, more lack and more exhaustion into the world.
That, to me, is the ultimate form of selfish.
You're robbing the whole world of knowing the FULLNESS of who you really are.
Setting a boundary with others requires you to KNOW your own worth, know your own limits, where you stand, what you value most, and most important of all...
How to call bullsh*t on yourself when you start slacking.
When you cross your own lines.
This commitment to discipline conditions you to stand FOR your greatness to a level where you are unwilling to let yourself and others take that for granted.
The Power of a Tidy Mind
A Conscious Creator, understands the mind as an antenna. One that can send and receive signals to match the reality we want more of.
In order to do that, the mind must be intentionally conditioned with thoughts and habits that match our goals. Consistency is the key.
Which means, we will be simultaneously de-conditioned from the limitations, fears and doubts we were raised with by way of CHOOSING a different reality.
In time, the mind begins naturally filtering out toxic thoughts and people because our focus no longer resides in the outdated reality. We aren't focused on escaping our past.
We begin attracting more of what we focus on and less of what we have left behind.
Now, it's in your hands.
Accept the path and take ownership of your own mind....or continue to allow the beliefs of others to determine your destiny.
The choice is yours.