Getting Over the Holiday Guilt-Trips...HOW to set boundaries with loved ones

Getting Over the Holiday Guilt-Trips...HOW to set boundaries with loved ones

Welp, here we are. 


It's officially 'holiday season' and if you're like most...


You're about to embark on two straight months of food, parties, shopping, stress, more food, and maybe even more stress


Oh sure, the holiday season is a time for family, friends, celebrations, and such but come January 1...


Holiday Hangover is a legit thing for SO many...


Your joints feel it. 


Your belt feels it.


Your brain feels it.


And maybe even your wallet is feeling it.


But here at the Society, we do things a bit differently.


We think ahead. 


Plan for future success.


So that said, I want to help prepare you for a happy AND healthy holiday season.


Today, we're going to start with food and the boundaries we have about it. 


Do you have boundaries? Are they clear? 

Do your loved ones know what they are?


Boundaries will be the THING that gets you through the holidays seemingly effortlessly. 


The more clear YOU are on them, the easier it will be for your family to respect them.


For example:


You made great progress this year on taking control of your health. You changed your diet, got consistent in your workouts, and even started meal prepping. 


You want to be sure that by the end of the year:


You keep that momentum!


But how do you explain to your Abuela that ONE plate of food IS enough? Or to your Tia that no, you don't need TWO dozen of her homemade Christmas cookies to take home after the party?


When food IS love in many cultures, guilt can be THE thing that causes your health to suffer. 


I get it.


The backlash CAN be severe especially as your loved ones take offense when you say NO to MORE food. It's like you stuck a knife right through their heart and denied your family name.




THAT type of guilt.


Hold the guilt and pass the creamer




I get it.


When I first began my health journey many years ago, I had to face one of these guilt-trips. And it's one of THE most memorable to-date.


My bf at the time asked me if I wanted him to scramble me up some egg whites. His dad looked at me like I had just thrown his name to the mud...


"WHAT?! My food isn't wholesome enough for you?!?!"


I placed my hand on his shoulder...


"I'm working hard to lose weight right now and it's been a battle for 20 years. I truly appreciate your desire to feed me however, it's hard enough to eat something that no one else is eating right now. Saying NO to foods I used to eat is a struggle. I'm doing my best to stick to my commitments. Doesn't mean I love you or appreciate you any less."


And with that, I ate my egg whites with spinach while their family ate chorizo and eggs with homemade tortillas.


Too often, your loved ones take offense to your NO, assuming it's something THEY have done wrong.


And yet, they just haven't gotten to know this new version of you. 


They don't know yet where you stand.


They haven't seen you putting in the work and being consistent in your goals. 


They don't know that NO doesn't mean you don't love them.


They don't know that NO means you actually love and respect yourself.


They're afraid that they can't love you in the ways they're USED to loving you.


SO they'll push back.


Sometimes HARD.


But you can change this. It just takes a bit of effort and communication.


Think about the person you're most worried about offending by using NO.


-What are some ways you can show them NOW what they can expect of you at the holidays?


-How can you speak up ahead of time and ask for support?


-Can you schedule a coffee date with them to share your current goals and discuss some other options?


-Can you make time to do some 'experimental' baking with them to test out traditional recipes in a healthier way?


-Can you create some NEW traditions for your holidays that don't involve destroying your progress?


You'd be AMAZED at how supportive your loved ones will be once you speak up for your commitments!


When they see how passionate you are about your goals, and how open you are to communicate your needs, they'll take a stand for you as well.


But it starts with you.


It starts with getting clear.


It starts with knowing what you need to thrive. 


And from there...

Anything is possible.


To a healthy, happy holiday season,


Alida, The Oracle

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