Before you go setting a goal for the new year, it's essential to understand why you want the goal and what you expect to change in your life once it happens.
The stats on success for New Year Resolutions are astounding!
With an average of 9-12% of people actually succeeding in their resolutions, we may need to reevaluate how we set these goals and WHY they matter so much...
My Road to Recovery
I'm a recovering workaholic. Over-commitment was my jam. The voice of my mentor kept ringing in my ear:
Focus on finishing ONE project first, THEN go on to the next.
"Blah, blah, blah," I thought.
"My brain doesn't work that way! I thrive best under pressure. If I set MORE goals, my odds of winning will increase! I'll show him!"
He was right. My brain was trying to launch SO many things at once that I was struggling to keep up with my normal life. I couldn't even see where to start so I kept going around in circles.
It wasn't that it wasn't doable. I mean, just look at Elon Musk, right?!
But...I'm not Elon Musk, so I had to put my ego in check.
At the root of my addiction to taking on more than I could handle was a fear that if I did "less" I would somehow be seen as unworthy of accolades and validation.
That people wouldn't respect me as much.
Did they EVEN respect me as much as my brain wanted them to?
Probably not. Maybe it was just ME who was placing these insane expectations on myself?
Reluctantly, I decided to give my mentor's approach a try...while also understanding that I DO need big responsibilities and BIG challenges in order to stay motivated.
I set a goal SO big it required all parts of my life to change. Just one.
Slowly but surely, I found myself shedding the old ways. Shedding the little projects that were draining with no real fulfillment. Focusing in on the bigger picture and tracking my progress daily towards it.
While letting go of the busy work, I saw how resistant I'd been to my own potential.
Was I even living up to my fullest potential if I was THIS scattered?
Nope. In fact, I was denying it by setting up my life in such a way that I was busy being busy but with no TRUE direction.
Up to that point, every goal I'd set for myself was rooted in one of three internal battles:
1: a small goal that was "safe" enough that when I gave up, it wouldn't hurt
2: a goal I thought others would expect me to fulfill but not one I really wanted
3: a goal I thought would make me happy and save me from the self-inflicted suffering...a goal so HUGE it would require a miracle to achieve with little to no effort on my part
All that said, my goals were not aligned with any sort of purpose.
They kept me too busy to see how I was holding myself back. All ego driven for external validation.
Setting yourself up for a WIN
I tell my clients often that a goal must be so big, it makes your booty clench.
We always have a good laugh when they find that ONE thing!
The mind likes to play it safe because what's 'uncertain' is not predictable, hence, we can't SEE the win.
It takes a bit of effort to train the brain to see it before it happens. SO when we omit this piece of the goal setting process, we won't make it to the finish. To see it in reality we must first believe it.
Consider visualizing yourself AT the end...
Imagine the win with all five senses, adding in the emotions you'll feel once it's occurred, and your brain begins to see this vision as a past memory that it is now bound to recreate in your life.
Next, prepare for it.
What's different in your life today vs that future moment? How do you walk, speak, choose, eat, engage, dress, etc.?
And based on that future YOU, what changes can you start making TODAY to show Source that you are indeed READY to receive this new reality?
Then, communicate your needs with loved ones.
This is KEY to your success!
Loved ones may unconsciously fear losing who they THINK we are to the version we WANT to become. Their dialogue can sound supportive with an undertone of sabotage like, "Don't work TOO hard!" or "You know, Joe tried that and it was a disaster. Have you thought about trying something else?"
Sometimes, they'll even bring home your favorite dessert 'forgetting' that you committed to avoid sugar or baked goods. Unconsciously, if they keep you stuck, they won't have to face their own limitations.
Their relationship is with who you HAVE been, not who you will become so let them know what they can expect from you moving forward and ease their mind ahead of time.
Tell them what you need. Show them how to hold you accountable, give them your list of non-negotiables.
Let them know which activities you will and will not be available for. This way, they are prepared to see your commitments and are pre-enrolled in your success.
Finally, see the change as a lifelong commitment rather than a quick fix.
By doing this, you're telling Source that what you're asking for is something you will truly treasure. Something that you'll carry with you for life.
Not only will this change HOW you approach the goal, it will influence all areas of life. You'll notice which habits stand in the way and be willing to adjust as needed because THIS is what you are now choosing in to.
How many of these things can you take care of before the new year?
How many decisions, discussions, and habit adjustments can you make NOW?
The sooner you begin, the better prepared you'll be.
So, what are YOU intending for the New Year?
What goals, intentions, and steps will you be taking to a 'new you' in 2023?
Be clear on what you're choosing into and watch how beautifully it all unfolds!
Make 2023 the BEST,