Stress is consuming you. Here's what you need to know...

How are YOU doing?

 

This past week has been filled with challenges. Every day I've been faced with a new obstacle.

 

From FTC compliance issues to family support needs, I've been stretched beyond my own comprehension. 

 

My saving grace: knowing HOW to deal with stress. 

 

So while it's fresh, and my own emotions are raw, I want to give you the low down on how to manage and combat stress so it doesn't eat you alive.

 

I grew up in a family where 'everything is fine.'

 

Which meant, 'we're not going to discuss it. We're going to just handle it and move on because we don't have time to FEEL.'

 

My mom and her siblings were raised in an environment where emotions weren't allowed. In fact, they were often punished. 

 

"Stop whining or I'll give you something to cry about."

 

And from that, they weren't given room to speak and opinion (unless it was given to them) nor were they allowed to ask questions.

 

This created many damaging generational ripples within the family...

 

Avoidance of grief

 

Struggle with boundaries

 

Fear of speaking up

 

And a debilitating fear of failure

 

But from this context came the belief that observable stress and crying over anything was a sign of weakness. 

 

So we didn't talk about it or even consider that stress MAY actually exist. 

 

And if you grew up in this type of environment, which most of my clients actually DID, you've got brain fog, blood sugar issues, autoimmune, or even adrenal fatigue that indicates...

 

Yeah, no. 

 

It's NOT fine. 

 

When I'm helping my clients identify WHAT stress is, we start with identifying base level changes. 

 

-Have you noticed a change in your food choices or portion sizes?

 

-Have you noticed a change in your sleep patterns?

 

-Have you noticed a change in your ability to recall information?

 

-Have you noticed a change in blood circulation or heart rate?

 

-Have you noticed a change in excuses and making it 'okay' to sabotage your health because you 'need to create balance'?

 

Are you NOTICING the thread here?

 

It's all about self-awareness. 

 

Stress is an indication that you're out of the NOW and focused on the past or the future. 

 

This causes some really slight changes that compound over time. 

 

The problem is that most people LIVE a life of stress, also known as CHRONIC stress, so seeing these subtle changes is damn near impossible. 

 

Stress IS their identity. 

 

Hence, everything is just "FINE."

 

FINE = Freaked out...Insecure...Neurotic...Emotional 

-From the Italian Job

 

Which is usually the case for those who were raised to NOT process emotions. 

 

Chronic stress leads to chronic states of dis-ease and dis-order. 

 

Which then leads to a diagnostic title, aka 'diagnosis.'

 

And there's only ONE thing you can do to combat this...

 

Discipline. 

 

I know, it's not the fluffy, soothing, lovey dovey answer you were looking for but hear me out.

 

If your life is in chaos and you're stretched to your limits, a spa day will simply be a quick fix to a much deeper problem. 

 

It might give you a quick burst of relief SO you can deal with the immediate demands. But it won't solve the reason you're up in arms to begin with.

 

Stress is a response based on a belief about who are you, what you're capable of, what you feel worthy of, and how you have handled obstacles in the past.

 

In which case, you lack PROOF that grace is possible, so...

 

You stress over it. 

 

The issue is how you MANAGE yourself when you aren't in stress. 

 

The issue is in your foundation of beliefs and habits. 

 

The issue is that you have too many non-negotiables to know what you want and where you stand when shit gets rough.

 

So, when you actually GET stressed, you have zero checks and balances to NOTICE that you are in fact stressed.

 

As with your health, the gold is in PREVENTION...

 

NOT reaction.

 

You can start small with things like...

 

-Tracking your food and meal/snack timing so you can see when cravings or portions shift

 

-Making your bed every morning and noticing when you are 'too tired/busy' to do it

 

-Journaling each day to notice where common thoughts and feelings are influencing your actions

 

-Setting deep breath timers on your phone to pause throughout the day and check your posture, breath, and face...it's probably scrunched up right now while you're reading this lol

 

And bigger things like...

 

-Speaking up for your boundaries (to others and yourself)

 

-Making time to fill YOUR cup up before giving the world your attention (working out, meditating, praying, showering/getting ready, etc.) 

 

-Keeping food/nutrition a non-negotiable (often more difficult during times of stress)

 

-Setting timers for pity parties (so you can FEEL it all in a controlled manner without letting it flood into your daily responsibilities)

 

Consistency is KEY here because anything that's negotiable...

 

Meaning, you can convince yourself to procrastinate or avoid taking action on it...

 

Will create unnecessary stress for you.

 

Stress that becomes like a drug...

 

Making you crave more and more and more of it. 

 

Of COURSE it's going to 'feel fine.'

 

It's your NORMAL setting. 

 

If you want to learn to learn to handle stress better, managing it in the moment is only a band-aid.

 

Reducing the unnecessary sources, like your own BS excuses to procrastinate on basic self care, is step one.

 

Personal discipline builds a type of confidence that nothing else can.

 

And the LAST place you'll want your confidence tested is in an intense moment of stress. 

 

The more consistent you are in discipline, the stronger and more confident you'll be in the face of adversity. 

 

Stress won't bring you down.

 

It will fire you the FUCK up. 💪🏼

 

It's YOUR life. 

 

You can be the perpetual victim OR the zen warrior in your life's story. 

 

Get ready, STAY ready. 

 

You've got this.